Manhattan School of Music
Posted: April 23, 2013 Filed under: Upper West Side | Tags: EXTRA EDITION Comments Off on Manhattan School of Music“Odoriferous Manifestus!” exclaimed Steve Wilson, as he rushed back into our fifth floor lesson room yesterday. He had stepped out to rinse his mouth of trail mix before playing his alto sax but couldn’t bear to go in, let alone near, the men’s room. Welcome to Manhattan School of Music (MSM), one of the premier conservatories for jazz and classical music.
In just a couple weeks, I will be officially deemed a master of jazz by MSM and be halfway qualified to write for JAZZ TOILET. It’s too bad that I am not also getting certified in plumbing, because then I would be fully qualified to write for this blog and employed.
In all seriousness, I’m grateful for the past two years and hopeful, as I get ready to graduate with a more concrete idea of how to make a living as a musician and a clearer vision of my artistry. A can-do spirit abounds at this particular institution, whether due to pure inspiration or the necessity of having to create your own opportunities, especially if you are not one of the select department cronies. Inspiration often springs from necessity, and there is great need in a school with scarce scholarships, limited practice space and faulty elevators.
MSM hosts a vast number of concerts throughout the year, many of them free and open to the public. You will hear some of the most high-level jazz found anywhere in student recitals and Cafe Jazz performances. If you visit, here is what you need to know about the bathroom situation –
Other than the restrooms inside the library, the newest facilities are located between Miller Recital Hall and Ades Performance Space, on the way to the adjacent dormitory building. The ladies room on the first floor is ideal for times you need to get ready for a school performance, equipped with a wide counter and a full-length mirror. The third floor one is a personal favorite, being the only ladies room with a window. The other floor restrooms, going up to the sixth floor, are generally stinky and can be downright dangerous for men, as I illustrated at the beginning. Note that the building uses the European system of numbering floors and thus, the first floor starts above ground level.*
Contrary to the perception of MSM as a strictly straight-ahead jazz kind of school, the master’s curriculum centers on Dave Liebman’s chromatic, “out” approach to improvisation. And while the dogmatic theoretical process seems to be the opposite of the indefinite contemporary improvisation methodology I learned as an undergrad, the end result in performance can be similar.
Now that I’ve written this post summarizing grad school, rearranged the furniture in my tiny room, caught up on season 8 of How I Met Your Mother and started sewing my Macbook a thermal sleeve, I will work on my big band chart, choral conducting paper and other finals. If anyone is looking to hire a procrastinator, send me an email.
Orundell from Guyana tells us how to say our key phrase in Creole. Say hello to him when you walk by the security desk at the door.
Can I use your toilet? Can you tell me where’s your toilet?
*UPDATE: MSM has altered its floor numbering system so that the entrance level is now the first floor. Thus, it now goes up to the seventh floor instead of stopping at six. Also, since the new president has come on board at the end of academic year 2013, there have been renovations all over the building including in the old elevators. Lastly, Cafe Jazz has been rebranded as the Jazz Room Series.
ZirZamin
Posted: April 9, 2013 Filed under: Greenwich Village | Tags: TUESDAY TOILET TALK Comments Off on ZirZaminI walked in as The Bridge Trio announced their next tune, “125th and Broadway,” where I had just come from, a bit flustered that the trains weren’t running on schedule yet again. Though I was on the fence about attending, I was sold once I learned that ZirZamin served breakfast tacos all night.
The place must be self-service at the bar, because nobody came to take my order at the table. I didn’t feel hungry enough to get up to order the breakfast tacos so it ended up being an eggless Easter, but an enjoyable one nonetheless. The entertaining trio bantered, took requests and made the audience feel at ease. They played tunes with both curious and obvious titles, which bassist Max Moran and keyboardist Conun Pappas took turns introducing.
Joe Dyson, who had been placidly providing rock solid beats behind the kit, ran up to the mic in the blink of an eye and went on a tirade about how he would introduce the tunes too, if only he had a microphone. I was in pleasant disbelief—it was like seeing a formerly fat person rip through the life-size poster of the before photo. And if hearing the drummer talk wasn’t surprise enough, Joe even sang a song about salty dogs to close the set.
Hailing from the same high school in New Orleans, the members of The Bridge Trio have played together as one unit and together as sidemen with mentors from their hometown. It’s great that they have the opportunity to be nurtured by mentors in a city with such legacy and tradition in an era where jazz is becoming increasingly institutionalized and mentorship on the bandstand, a rarity.
To your left before you enter the back music room, you will see two unmarked narrow black doors to the unisex restrooms. The smallest freestanding restrooms I’ve observed thus far, I got a core-strengthening workout twisting my body into unusual positions to take photos in the claustrophobic space. Watch out for the steps when you go through the double curtains to the back; I tripped both times in the dim lighting.
Though the venue acknowledges that it can’t be all things to all people, it presents an unclear identity in seemingly trying, with a menu offering Austin-inspired fare, the tagline “subterranean music parlour” using British spelling, and the name ZirZamin meaning underground in Farsi. Samira from Iran tells us how to say, “Excuse me, where is the restroom?” in Farsi –
Friday Flush, Issue 5
Posted: March 29, 2013 Filed under: Ken® | Tags: FRIDAY FLUSH Comments Off on Friday Flush, Issue 5I’m filling in on this Good Friday, as Ken®’s contract prohibits him from working holidays. As a tribute to hardworking Ken®, below is a jazz cover of the ’90s hit single by Aqua, “Barbie Girl.”
As always, feel free to forward us breaking news from the world of toilets and jazz for future flushes.
The Kitano
Posted: March 12, 2013 Filed under: Midtown East | Tags: TUESDAY TOILET TALK 1 Comment »The wide, ample rear of the dog statue greets you as walk down the stairs from the restrooms back to the jazz lounge inside the hotel. Once you re-enter the room on the other side of the glass wall, you may notice the Jazz at Kitano sign. I thought the logo looked like a treble clef choking the letter J but Jon Rag, one of the saxophonists that night, thought it was suggestive of something else. For a venue uninterested in our review, The Kitano has made some interesting design choices. A large abstract painting also hung over the bar—I don’t even want to know what that’s about.
A couple weeks ago, I caught the final night of pianist Angelo Di Loreto’s month-long Tuesday residency at The Kitano. He played duo with three saxophonists, executing virtuosic lines and rhythmic harmonies with his signature heavy-handed touch reflective of his solid, grounded character.
Likewise, saxophonist Pat Carroll’s alto revealed his introspective and soft-spoken nature in its transparent and ephemeral tone. Jonathan Ragonese’s tenor was as robust and commanding as his outspoken personality and flavorful cooking. I don’t know the third saxophonist Dan Wilkins as well but I imagine that his personality mirrors the rich tenor with just the right amount of bite to the sound.
Isn’t it amazing that three people playing the same instrument can sound so different? The individuality of each was even more apparent paired with the same pianist back to back in the same room.
And it’s a nice room with a high ceiling that lets the music and conversations rise and fill the space. The verticality compensates for the cramped floor space in which the waiter will tell you to push in your chair each time he walks by. The lighting is pleasant and the company is sharply suited, many of them likely businessmen staying at the hotel.
The restrooms marked ladies and gentlemen are of typical hotel standards, with the thick quality paper towels. The ladies space consists of a sitting room and a bathroom with two stalls.
If you want to know more about Angelo’s residency, you can read an article by our own men’s room correspondent KMac in the February issue of Hot House, the ubiquitous and self-proclaimed “New York’s Jazz BIBLE For 30 Years!” And now, Nurgul from Kazakhstan tells us how to say, “Where’s the restroom?” in Kazakh –
One-Year Mark
Posted: February 21, 2013 Filed under: Ken® | Tags: voicekwon 2 Comments »
Having documented twenty-six jazz clubs housing more than twice the number of toilets and twenty-six translations of “Where’s the restroom?” in languages from Arabic to Zulu, we celebrate the one-year mark of the launch of JAZZ TOILET. For the year ahead, I am cutting back on the TUESDAY TOILET TALKS to just the second Tuesday of each month. Please stay tuned as I will be introducing new issues and staff writer Ken® will be continuing with the FRIDAY FLUSH.
For the occasion, my sister mailed me a 2013 calendar featuring “Toilets of the World.” I look forward to filling the grids with deadlines and activities, starting with a celebratory lunch today for Ken® and men’s room correspondent KMac. Now, I leave you with words of wisdom inscribed within my new calendar (underlines are my own).
Toilets of the World (Sian James and Morna E. Gregory)
Loo, john, dunny, bathroom, lavatory, outhouse, WC, longdrop, commodities, powder room, crapper, throne, porcelain god, washroom, toilet, can, urinal, facilities, pisser, comfort station, head, water-closet, little boys’ room, shitter, pot, nettie, bog …
So many names refer to the same mundane object. This boundless terminology reflects human beings’ natural fascination with the toilet. Taboo subjects that have provoked deep interest throughout the ages are known by many names—consider death, drugs and copulation, to name a few. Terms for the toilet all describe the smallest room in the house, in the backyard, on the boat, or elsewhere. This list is from English alone. To compile a complete list of toilet terminology from all languages would fill volumes. Regardless of how it is referred to, the universal aspect cannot be denied: every human being on earth uses the toilet.
Why toilets? The subject is not nearly as frivolous as it may appear at first glance. Toilets are bay windows with a view onto a given population. The term toiletology has yet to be coined, although the study of toilets provides a cultural and sociological analysis of the people who occupy different regions throughout the world. The variety of toilets in different countries is astounding. Toilets often (though not always) reflect the development of a given country or region via design, placement, material and mechanics. Aren’t toilets the same everywhere? In a limited geographical area, perhaps. On an international scale, toilets are very, very different.
The use of the toilet transcends all race, religion, age and social class. From the most impoverished to the highest royalty, each and every one of us bows to the basics of bodily function. Whether one does so in a ditch or on a jewel-encrusted throne, the result is the same. The president, the cashier, the supermodel, the writer, the lawyer and the farmer all find themselves subject to this most basic of acts. It is physical gratification from the earliest age on up. The act is philosophical—emptying the body empties the mind as well. For how many busy and stressed people is this moment one of the few instants of solitary relief, privacy and contemplation in an otherwise hectic day? Many people confess to having great thoughts, ideas and insights while seated on the toilet.
Through the pages that follow, take a fascinating and explicit voyage through societies around the globe. A deeper cultural understanding of the world is within reach via the most raw and honest tattle-tale of human civilization: the toilet.