Introducing Ken®

Ken® by the Brooklyn BridgeYou have probably met Ken® before.  He will be joining the JAZZ TOILET team to model in photos, so that you have a point of reference for the dimensions of the restrooms.  He is about a foot tall, as you can observe in the photo to the left.

You may think him to be a gratuitous addition since most toilets are of a standard size, giving you an idea of the size of each stall.  But he can serve as an additional point of measurement and accompany me on my assignments, since our men’s room correspondent, Kevin Mac, cannot be present at all locations.  Ke(vi)n: a tall, blond & blue-eyed man—they’re practically the same person.  Plus, when else will I be able to have such a white male of privilege working under my direction?

In addition, Ken® brings with him years of expertise in multiple fields, including in languages; he is a polyglot that can speak many languages, from Azerbaijani to Zulu.  We are excited to have him on board.  Below is a video clip of Ken® with a brief statement for us in English.

 


Smalls

I went to Smalls last Saturday, to hear both saxophonist Adam Larson’s group in the afternoon and pianist Mark Soskin’s quartet at night.  The club is an underground hole in the wall that’s got a New York charm about it.  I really liked this space.

I stood in line for the women’s bathroom, with the person in front of me fretting that whoever is in there has been taking a long time.  The bathroom was spacious enough, as New York city bathrooms go, with a sink and toilet.  It smelled of weed, so I guess that explains why that other woman was taking so long.

It may be worth noting that the toilet paper at Smalls is marginally thicker than the paper at the Vanguard.  I am now in possession of toilet paper samples from three different venues so it’s officially a collection!  This may seem silly, but I began thinking that we are all pretty silly, obsessed with collecting stuff like accolades and trophies, none of which will matter in the long run.  But still, I admit that I would rather win an award than a roll of toilet paper.  As a side note, if you’ve ever played games at a Korean church gathering, you know that toilet paper (and other necessities, such as toothpaste and tissue) is the award for winning.  My family is still going through a Costco box of Irish Spring soap from a picnic some years ago.

Adam Larson is one of my favorite sax players at Manhattan School of Music and it was nice to hear him in his Smalls debut with Nils Weinhold (guitar), Gerald Clayton (piano), Kiyoshi Kitagawa (bass) and Jason Burger (drums).  I remember hearing Gerald play Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue with our high school orchestra as a senior, back when I was a freshmen at LACHSA and thinking … oh, so is this jazz?

Mark Soskin happens to be my piano teacher and I felt bad about ditching his class the past week so I made sure to go (and not just that, but because I wanted to support and hear his music—if you’re reading this, Mark!).  I enjoyed his feel-good sets of standards and other songs, with Joel Frahm (sax), Jay Anderson (bass) and Tim Horner (drums), despite having to stand near the door in an extremely cramped, standing-room only situation.

Though our men’s room correspondent, Kevin Mac, was present, he looked so miserable and tired by the end of the night, that I didn’t want to bother him to go take photos.  So I include only a picture of the dimly lit ladies room for this post.  Smalls seems like a good room to hang, with its kitschy, cozy vibe.

Below is an audio clip of “Where is the restroom?” in German, spoken by Adam’s guitarist, Nils —

Wo ist die toilette?


Village Vanguard

This blog was largely inspired by my first visit to the legendary Village Vanguard.  I had gone last October for the opening night of Fabian Almazan’s album release show and just returned this weekend for the Mark Turner Quartet.

There are two tiny stalls with just enough room for the toilets in each.  They are smaller than those little closets converted into an extra shower/toilet/sink in Korean apartments and smaller than ones on aircrafts.  My short legs somehow fit in there but if you’re average height or taller, I’m not sure that you could sit on the toilet.   The stall would have been way more functional if they just made one larger stall (which would still be a small stall), rather than two claustrophobic ones.  I would avoid using the restroom here.  But they did have large mirrors and sinks with soap so it’s great to wash your hands.  I’m a bit frustrated because the photos above don’t really give you a sense of how cramped they really are.

The men’s room correspondent, Kevin Mac, gives us the inside scoop on the male bathroom.  The stall seems a lot more spacious than the ones in the ladies room.  Plus, as KMac mentioned repeatedly with a tinge of awe, Elvin Jones shat in there.  I did not know that “shat” was even a word, and the past tense of a vulgar word at that, until I looked it up just now.

 

 

Fabian Almazan’s show back in October featured his trio with string quartet.  I would sit near the back and not on the side, close to the stage, so that I could get a better balance and hear the entire ensemble next time.  When I met Fabian a few years ago, he told me to look down for graffiti on the red line between 86th to 96th if I’m ever in New York, and used the red candle on the table as a mnemonic so that I would remember.  Funny—I didn’t know then that I would be living here, going on that very metro line regularly.

Mark Turner’s quartet of Avishai Cohen (trpt), Joe Martin (bass) and Marcus Gilmore (drums) is already a blur in my mind but I recall that it could be described as sounding somewhat meditative and the openness of the sax/trpt harmonies, without a comping instrument, was beautiful.

We had some time to kill before the show and didn’t want to be out in the rain so we got gelato across the street from the Vanguard.  It’s the best gelato I’ve had!  I also went to Smalls that night so I’ll make a post on that later this week.  And now, here’s how to say, “Where is the restroom?” in Portuguese.  Click the link below to listen to the phrase —

Onde fica o banheiro?